congratulations! your credit limit has been increased to $9,000,000,000,000!!!

Dear Federal Government:

We have some exciting news for you! We've increased your credit limit to $9 trillion! Please use this extra cash to buy yourselves that well-deserved boondoggle. Perhaps that massive new entitlement program you've been thinking about. Or some good old-fashioned corporate welfare - those friends come in handy around election day, you know. Go ahead, buy those extra cruise missiles and smart bombs, then give your citizens another shock-and-awe performance in the Middle East! It'll distract them from the fact that we're squeezing even more out of their poor, sorry already-taxed-to-death hides. We've included these convenience checks - use them as if this money actually belonged to you.

Sincerely,

Your fellow accomplices in the U.S. Senate